orchardrose and the fanfiction
by Falling Petals2232
Summary: orchard-rose malfoy reviews fanfc ratings and writes her own .
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: i don't own jack shizz okay hope that ya like it. and if ya don't oh flipper doodles ya can still comment

hello everyone! my name is orchard-rose malfoy and i have recently discovered fanfiction it is very interesting if you think that reading about two guys having sex or even two girls is interesting or even all out sex in general then m is for you! if you like mild romance with a hint of angst even when the genre doesn't have angst up there is my suggestion. and for all of you who are light fluff and more family give up you know you like t better k+ or even k now if your a liar and really 12 or under don't go past k+ because more than likely you will be haunted by that memory for the rest of your life.

well one day i decided to read rated m and i thought it would be nice until i read a narcissa /Lucius pairing. yep i read a pairing that happened to be my parents all i have to say is. " so that's what they were doing last night." and then i went deeper and read a Bellatrix/ narcissa. ha if my aunt read that she'd never mind my mother would faint like the little dainty lady she is. and i screamed and ran from my computer at a Draco and Lucius pairing. and then my loving parents came in and read what i was reading... lets just say I'm no supposed to be typing this. well im am going to write a fanfic about my parents and i will make sure that they read it because i can blame it on Draco...

so here i go

one warm sunny afternoon narcissa came running into the manor like the mental case she is screaming. " Lucius, Lucius, Lucius!"  
when he responded " what do you want cissa I'm busy!". and with a moan narcissa stomped off. "Draco, Draco,Draco!" she said as she say her son bolting for the door "damn it" he mumbled under his breath. " dragon mommy has to tell you some..." she was cut off by a high pitched scream. "bye mom" said Draco as he slid out of the door.  
"BELLA!" screamed an angry narcissa. "what cissy?" asked Bella in a babyish voice. " i have to tell you something!" said narcissa in a whisper. " what cissy? did you drop a cup again? or did you forget to feed the cat?" questioned Bellatrix. " No! silly I'm going to have a baby!" said narcissa in a high pitched voice. " what the hell? i thought you and Lucius were done." said Bellatrix.  
" done with what exactly". asked Lucius. " making disappointments to the wizarding world you imbecile." said Bella.  
"no,no,no,no,no,no,NO! i don't want anymore children" said lucius through his tears...

(in the bedroom)

"orchard-rose malfoy are you on that wretched computer!" screamed narcissa

"no mommy i'm not" i said in a very innocent voice

"not what? are you still a..." said Lucius " LUCIUS i was talking about her being on the blasted computer!" yelled narcissa.

and with a unexpected blast my door fell to the ground, and all that came out of my mouth was oh shit.  
" you are making a fanfiction now are you? let me read" said my mother.

*never you evil wench back away from the computer*

" you think I'm a mental case!" yelled narcissa

no mother i know your a mental case.

"narcissa you can be a little on the different side every now and then..." said Lucius "Lucius! i do n-not your lying I'm always the perfect lady!" said a not so confident narcissa

"damn next time I'm writing a twilight fanfiction." i said in a slightly frustrated voice " you will write no more of this fanfucshit." said Lucius in a firm voice " father it is called FANFICTION THAT'S WHY THE STORY'S ARE CALLED FANFICS!" i yelled

and after that my parent left my room... ha ha bisnotches just wait for chapter 2,


	2. Chapter 2

haha bisnotches i told ya it was coming and here it is chapter 2!

well my mother is pregnant again haha i mean damn thats nasty and then my father left for a business meeting so i'm stuck here with my 6 month pregnant mother. damn it i mean the least he could have done was take me with him.  
anyway on with the show.

well as you all recall i am no longer allowed to write fanfucshit. but i don't give a shit so who's in the mood for somthing stupid!

"orchie darling, come here" said narcissa. " orchard go to your mother she has somthing to tell you." said lucius in a gleeful voice the bastard.  
" hell no i won't go!" screamed orchard at the top of her lungs. " yes you will"said lucius as he pushed her down the stairs.

oh wait a minute damn this is a flashback hahaha

well yeah the bought me a dimond necklace to shut me the hell up. i sold it for 5,000 dollars on ebay hehehe i'm so awesome

my dear fans i will not write another fanfucshit this chapter but i really want some letters. my parents say that i need to be in touch with the wizarding world i call bull shizz my mother and father can go touch each other for all i care. but anyway i met this boy in diagon alley his name was albus potter and he was really cute im supposed to meet him for ice cream with his parents in half in hour oh shizz nipples i gotta go

remember send me a letter

see ya'll in chapter 3 later 


	3. Chapter 3

okay you all suck your letters suck i mean really

dear orchard,

hi my name is mindy and i was wondering if you know what the sqaure root of pi is?

,from mindy

i mean damn i'm not even educated with you muggles so to hell if i know ask your mom or better yet your teacher.  
dont waste my time you idiot ask me real questions like how albus got in and out of my room last night with out getting caught.  
or how my mom is going in to premature labor!

HOLY SHIZZ MONKEYS! MY MOMS GOING INTO PREMATURE LABOR. i better tell dad get him to get his happy ass out of his office.

well i know i must be insensitive or sometihng right? wrong my mom is getting pay back for yesterday.

****************flashback*********************

" orchard-rose malfoy get your ass in here this instant." yelled my mother.  
" why only my ass? why can't the rest of my come in?" i yelled back.  
my father snorted at my lovely comment.  
" damnit just get in here "she whined.  
"fine" i said

okay well then we did some freaky stuff... NO NOT LIKE THAT YOU IMBECILE

well have you ever resurected the dead? well we did my aunt bella died the day before from strangulation we still dont know who did it...

"it's" you she screamed me " yeah me your niece your favorit little girl your..." sadly i was cut off " my murderer!" she yelled "what! young lady your getting your wand and scarfs taken away!" yelled the bisnotch that i call mother

************end of flashback***************

well yes now anyway revenge is sweet and no i did not cause her to go into labor i wish i did but i didn't

sorry got to go help my father, remember send me letters! 


End file.
